Fear of heights

If your are selling, stand down the street from the house and look at the shingles.  If they are blistered, cracked, broken or missing, it is time to correct the damage and replace the shingles before water gets into the house.  If you can see the damage then so can the Buyer and his home inspector.

Scale the heights for your sale.

 

Zinger 116

Curry take away

I love curry and the smell makes me hungry but I wonder about people who cook strong smelling food just before having an Open House.  As much as you can, avoid cooking with curry, boiling cabbage or popping microwave popcorn.  There are some food smells that the majority of  Buyers will not like.

Let your house pop without getting corny.

Zinger 115

Guns and roses

If you are going to put your house on the market and you have guns, be prudent and store them  away from the house and from where strangers are going to see them. This might be a thorny topic for some but why worry about your guns being stolen?  Replace the Buyers’ interest with a couple of wonderful bouquets of roses. 

 Replace cold metal with symbols of love and friendship.

Zingers 114 

Red River Blues

Before buying your house along the river find out the history of flooding on that section of the river.  Most rivers, with residential property on the banks, have a conservation authority that established building rules (such as proximity to the bank, type of construction and plantings).  Go to the Authority and find out the flooding history.

Don’t get sandbagged into buying the wrong property. 

Zingers 113

Here kitty, kitty

If you have ailurophobe (the fear of cats), make sure that you let your real estate agent know.  Most listings indicate if there is a cat in the house.  If you cannot be in a house with a cat, then your agent will do everything possible to ensure that you don’t see those homes. 

Not only Andrew Lloyd Webber has Cats

Zingers 112 

Behind door #1

You have some very valuable things and decide to put them in one room of your house and then lock the door when people come to see the house.  It might be that you have taken all of your mess, shoved it in a room and then locked the door.  Resist the temptation to do this.  If your house is for sale ensure that buyers can see everything.

Let’s make a deal on the whole house.

Zinger 111

Zingers #110 – Freedom on Runway #2

Are you looking at buying a house near a freeway or under a flight path?  Maybe you never entertain outside or have children who need to play in the yard.  Being near a highway or beneath the flight path is not likely to be an issue for you.  If you are annoyed with noise then locations near these are considered to be incurable defects. 

Don’t let  your peace be “leaving on a jet plane”.

Zingers #109 – Houses are like fish

 Sometimes a Buyer will find the perfect house on the very first appointment.  What happens?  Fear sets in that not enough time was spent looking and that there is no basis of comparison.  Maybe there is something better out there.  Some Buyers get the house and some Buyers think, years later, that that house was….

The one that got away.

Zingers #108 – Incurable defects

 When you are looking for a home be aware of some defects that cannot be corrected or can be but with extraordinary expense.  Your home inspector will point out things that are most likely correctable.  However, what the inspector is not doing is looking at the location of the house, the size of the yard and the efficiency of the layout. 

Vaccinate yourself with knowledge about the house and location.

Zingers #107 – Knock knock

Do you want to see a house that is for sale?  Ask your agent to schedule a visit. Most homes for sale have the owner still living on the premises with family and family needs.  Be respectful and avoid asking for supper time (5 – 6) and after children go to bed (8 or 9). The owners will have to stay in the house and you will not be able to really see the house.

You are not the dinner or sleep over guest.

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