Zingers #113 – Red River Blues

Before buying your house along the river find out the history of flooding on that section of the river.  Most rivers, with residential property on the banks, have a conservation authority that established building rules (such as proximity to the bank, type of construction and plantings).  Go to the Authority and find out the flooding history.

Don’t get sandbagged into buying the wrong property. 

Zingers #112 – Here kitty, kitty

If you have ailurophobe (the fear of cats), make sure that you let your real estate agent know.  Most listings indicate if there is a cat in the house.  If you cannot be in a house with a cat, then your agent will do everything possible to ensure that you don’t see those homes. 

Not only Andrew Lloyd Webber has Cats

Zingers #111 – Behind door #1

You have some very valuable things and decide to put them in one room of your house and then lock the door when people come to see the house.  It might be that you have taken all of your mess, shoved it in a room and then locked the door.  Resist the temptation to do this.  If your house is for sale ensure that buyers can see everything.

Let’s make a deal on the whole house.

Zingers #110 – Freedom on Runway #2

Are you looking at buying a house near a freeway or under a flight path?  Maybe you never entertain outside or have children who need to play in the yard.  Being near a highway or beneath the flight path is not likely to be an issue for you.  If you are annoyed with noise then locations near these are considered to be incurable defects. 

Don’t let  your peace be “leaving on a jet plane”.

Zingers #109 – Houses are like fish

 Sometimes a Buyer will find the perfect house on the very first appointment.  What happens?  Fear sets in that not enough time was spent looking and that there is no basis of comparison.  Maybe there is something better out there.  Some Buyers get the house and some Buyers think, years later, that that house was….

The one that got away.

Zingers #108 – Incurable defects

 When you are looking for a home be aware of some defects that cannot be corrected or can be but with extraordinary expense.  Your home inspector will point out things that are most likely correctable.  However, what the inspector is not doing is looking at the location of the house, the size of the yard and the efficiency of the layout. 

Vaccinate yourself with knowledge about the house and location.

Zingers #107 – Knock knock

Do you want to see a house that is for sale?  Ask your agent to schedule a visit. Most homes for sale have the owner still living on the premises with family and family needs.  Be respectful and avoid asking for supper time (5 – 6) and after children go to bed (8 or 9). The owners will have to stay in the house and you will not be able to really see the house.

You are not the dinner or sleep over guest.

Zingers #106 – Seven years of bad luck

If you are going to remove mirrors that have been glued to the wall, make sure that you are standing at or above the top of the mirrors.  Criss cross the mirror with tape and put a drop cloth below the mirror.  Of course the mirror is likely to break, especially if the bonding agent is really strong.  Be careful.

Avoid having to see double.

Zingers #105 – Feature this

 Does your living, dining or bedroom need a little boost?  If the paint job still relatively fresh but the room looks a little tired and maybe it looks small, then consider painting a feature wall.  To choose the wall, walk into a room and determine where your eyes go first.  This is likely the wall that will benefit from being a different hue or colour.

Pop with paint.

Zingers #104 – Mirror, mirror on the wall

Have you got a wall of mirrors?  Think about removing them before putting your house on the market.  A wall of mirrors is like being in the fun house, it makes you disoriented.  Covering a wall with mirrors was a decorating fad that is now past its due date.   

Make your house the fairest of them all.

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